


Latibule

by chsug0



Series: Overly Attached [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Aobajousai, Creampie, F/M, Female Protagonist, Karasuno, Kidnapping, Manipulation, Murder, Oikawa Tooru's Knee Injury, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pregnancy, Self-Harm, Shiratorizawa, Unhealthy Relationships, Vaginal Sex, Yandere, Yandere Oikawa, dubcon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-07-15 13:10:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16063829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chsug0/pseuds/chsug0
Summary: Oikawa loves her; he was certain about it this time.Though, having moved on, she refused to believe him, yet he begged endlessly for her forgiveness, showering her in gifts and proclamations of love. As desperate as he was, he demonstrated no signs of faltering, even when she had already announced that she and the captain of Shiratorizawa were officially a couple. Had the situation turned out differently, she would not have to struggle against him.Indeed, had the situation turned out differently, she would not be stuck here within the oppressive hold of someone so beautiful, yet tormented and filthy.





	1. 一 | regret

**Author's Note:**

> The story begins during Oikawa’s second year, and the protagonist is a transfer student from Seijoh attending Shiratorizawa. For the most part, the story up until the third year’s inter-high where Seijoh defeats Karasuno is almost entirely headcanon. I apologize in advance if Oikawa comes off as OOC.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa has always been known for being adaptable on and off the court, seeming to accommodate to anyone and any situation possible, but when it came to you, he only saw what was was definite. 
> 
> “I don’t care how much you beg, Shittykawa!”

It was a Monday afternoon when you visited Aoba Johsai. That same afternoon, you had broken up with your boyfriend of one year, Oikawa Tooru, and it happened to be the day of your first anniversary together, despite the obstacles. Even then, those obstacles only heightened the anxiety that was soon proven right. _You're glad you transferred during your second year._

 _"Too...ru_ ?" You lose your grip around the white ribbon handles of your anniversary gift to the setter. Earlier this month, you had been able to save enough money to purchase your _loving_ boyfriend a new pair of volleyball sneakers, because you understood that he was dedicated to the sport in a similar way you were with yours. That was why you transferred to Shiratorizawa Academy. Of course, not without an argument about attending his rival school in volleyball.

One would pass him off as somewhat overprotective, rambling on and on about how you might fall for Ushiwaka and he may fall for you. Flustered, you pinched his arm and stated that you were only in love with him, and thus you returned to normalcy that same week. His anxiety never ceased, though, and he kept you close to him whenever you were together.

This was a different situation, however. Suddenly becoming occupied with your respective sports, you barely had time to meet, yet you were the one who initiated occasional rendezvous, which already annoyed his team due to his frequent absences. You could barely register Oikawa's pleas as he approached you slowly with gentle footsteps, similar to approaching a deer. Exactly what _did_ you see? Behind the gym where the boys volleyball team practiced, you spotted the brunette shoving his tongue down another girl's throat. Iwaizumi was the one that told you that Oikawa went out for some fresh air, but he did not warn you that there was _another_ girl waiting for him.

His voice was unsteady as he spoke the most sickeningly sweet words you could hear, " __-_____ hey— babe let's talk, please?_ "

Your footsteps began to reverse, and Oikawa started to sound more frantic, but it was as if you had gone deaf. Having dropped the gift on the pavement, you had nothing to weigh yourself down from running full speed out of the school's front entrance. The setter's eyes glared back at the girl whom he had kissed as she began to cower away as well after seeing the look in his eyes. It was the same look he would give his opponents. Surely, she would never be able to face him again, or vice versa. If he told Iwaizumi about this, he would surely be beaten and lectured, but not before yelling at him that he was an idiot.

Two weeks have passed since that day, and you slowly transitioned from subtle sulking to more short smiles and smirks. It was the help of your friends and teammates that allowed you to get back on your feet, talking trash about your ex and watching silly movies on your laptop whenever there was not any practice for [sport]. At the same time, you focused more on your studies, not that you weren't already okay where you were. You were average— not failing nor top of the class student— just enough to ensure that you would satisfy your parents that seemed to question anything you do.

The morning you entered your homeroom, you seated yourself next to Shiratorizawa's official setter for the volleyball team, Semi Eita. He happened to be the first person you talked to since you first entered the school starting the second year. You were unfamiliar with the campus and asked for directions from him, who had been at the school since his first year. Without the help of him, those who were observant already recognized you as the queen who _once_ stood alongside Seijoh's king.

 

It was nearly approaching fall, and you never spoke to Oikawa since your fallout and it has lead you to communicate more with the interesting people you met at your new school, most of which, were on your sports team and some others from the boys and girls volleyball team. The boys team was more casual with you, though. More than half of them recognized you easily.

"32 missed calls. 44 text messages. Thank goodness my phone was silenced. Otherwise I'd be scolded by the coach," you laughed bitterly. 

"Uhuh... that guy must be really persistent," the ash blond boy next to you states. "I don't know much about relationships, but this is a little too much. Are you okay?"

"Yeah," You smile, trying to lighten the situation, "I saw this coming. I'm not that affected."

"Olololo?" You heard Tendou behind you. "Talking about that nasty guy? I thought you were over him by now?"

"Satori-kun," You began, "this isn't even your class. Shouldn't you be with _Ushiw_ — _Ushijima-_ san _?_ "

Tendou quickly snatches the phone in your hands and glances at the recent caller ID in your missed calls. You yelp and stand from your seat to reach for your phone, but the redhead held it up higher.

"Maybe you should block his contact. I'm saying this as a _good friend_ you know," Tendou suggests a little loudly, making you aware of the other people in the room. 

"Satori-kun, please!" You strained to give commands below a yell. "I'll block him, just please give me my phone." 

Tendou hums a little before lowering his hand slowly and dropping it into your smaller hands. He notices the conflicted expression on your face as you barely graze your finger on the 'block contact' button. Your thumb seemed to shake above it, so the middle blocker decided to give you a little push and pressed his fingers onto your hesitant thumb.

"I knew it. You _still_ have feelings for him," Tendou mused.

"I really do want clarity. I can't end things like this, we have to end it formally. Not like this," you whine.

" _Oho_ , you're starting to sound like—"

"Speaking of which," Semi interrupts. "How do you guys [the team] know so much about _____-san? I've seen you guys talk a lot during lunch and you and her address each other familiarly." 

You stiffen in your chair, but continue to listen from behind your phone.

Tendou placed his finger on his chin, "well, of course I wouldn't forget the face of the queen who stands alongside the King of the Court. I don't think you ever saw _____-chan with the King after the official matches because he dislikes Wakatoshi. I guess you could say he didn't like anyone laying their eyes on his queen."

"Though, I guess you're no longer his queen anymore," Tendou chuckles. "I'm so proud! Little _____ is now a queen of her own kingdom."

Semi glances back at you who still glanced down at your phone oddly as if staring at it would unblock Oikawa's number. "You make it sound like she's been oppressed, Tendou."

" _Mm_ , who knows?" 

The sound of the bell resonates and Reon comes by classroom 2-2 to drag Tendou to class so he would not get distracted and arrive late like many other instances. Ushijima had not been the one to escort him in the morning because he had been in the gym practicing serves, according to Semi, who had received a message just a few minutes prior to the bell. You wave to your friend as Reon pushes Tendou out of the classroom and promised to see them during lunch. You hope that Tendou would arrive to the lunch room before you, so he could secure a table for everyone else.

 

Winter strikes Miyagi and you visit the shrine to pray for no spontaneous illness to attack you during your high school [sport] career. Clapping your hands once and closing her eyes after throwing some yen into the well, you shuffle uncomfortably as you, almost distantly, hear your name being called. A gruff voice, a very stern and familiar one. _Iwaizumi_.

Opening her eyes, you see the spiky haired boy making his wish before turning to face you. His expression softens after seeing your slightly perturbed face. Of course you'd be on edge; Oikawa was always around Iwaizumi. The cold wind bites at both of your faces and you could see the redness in Iwaizumi's nose as you stare at his face.

"Is _Oikawa_ with you?" You asked suddenly.

Iwaizumi responds instantly, "No, he's at home resting."

"I didn't see him during the match two weeks ago," you began "it’s the first match I've been to since _you-know-what._ "

"He got injured."

You hide your nose under your scarf as you tug your winter jacket closer to your body and start walking down the steps of the shrine. Iwaizumi follows suit and trails behind you.

"That idiot. Getting injured at such an inconvenient time. Shiratorizawa is going to destroy you during the spring tournament next year with him—"

"He's not doing too well since you stopped picking up his calls or reading his messages. It’s difficult to get him into the gym lately as well. He disappears as soon as we’re dismissed."

The blatant stigma for being partially responsible for tearing down one of the best volleyball players in Miyagi ate at your compassion. However, apathy and empty amounts of concern only crossed your mind as soon as you apprehended the thought of getting back together with him. There were many instances that Oikawa had been childish to draw your attention to the point it became troublesome. At _some_ point, you loved him, but now you don’t. You wonder why, but it is what it is.

Iwaizumi ends up offering you a cup of hot chocolate at a nearby café and you both continued your conversations from there. Every topic was small talk in between bickers about Oikawa. You somehow slip in the idea of breaking up with Oikawa through him so you wouldn’t have to deal with the tears that were expected to come after. Intently paying attention to Iwaizumi ramble on about the circumstances of his captain's injury, you notice a girl in a Seijoh uniform eyeing you strangely. Her eyebrows were scrunched showing heavy judgment and that was when you remembered that you were still in your school uniforms. Either the girl recognized you as Oikawa's ex or that she found it strange for two students from rival schools were casually sharing hot drinks in a warm setting.

Simply put, you were now uncomfortable and prompted to leave. The chocolate drink in the porcelain cup was already lukewarm, as you barely took a sip in between soaking in Iwaizumi's words and being wary of the glare of a girl from another table. After the spiky-haired ace finished his sentence, you raise your cup and chugged down the rest of the contents. 

"I'm going to leave. I remembered that Wakatoshi-kun needed me for something— homework most likely. Send Oikawa my regards for his knee," you say lowly "and thank you for the hot chocolate."

"So soon? Well then, see you around."

 

 

" _Iwa-chan_ ," Oikawa calls out from under his blankets. His voice is hoarse and his nose is stuffed. His room is messy with clothes and tissues strewed across the floor. Image after image taken with digital cameras and Polaroids were littered across the blankets of atop his futon. Every one of those images had you in them. He had always been excessive with capturing every moment with you as if it were their last. _He still could not believe it._

Iwaizumi peeks up from the image he was fixated on while he was sitting on his feet next to Oikawa's head, which had been facing the other way, it was the most recent image of you and him together dating back to two months prior to their fallout. Way before you stopped talking due to your occupied agendas.

Oikawa's voice is so low, an animal could detect danger in it, "is she dating Ushiwaka?" 

"I didn't get to ask," Iwaizumi answers, trying not to incite anymore frustration or sadness from him.

He is never usually this amiable to his childhood friend, though, so he's bent between punching him and comforting him. Things were rough right now, even Iwaizumi could tell, but he certainly believed Oikawa was better than this, especially after years and years of heartbreak. The ace knew that you were the only one that's stuck to him for more than a couple months.

"She probably is," he laughs sardonically. " _Fucking_ _bitch_."

The ace was aghast, angered as well. "What the hell are you talking about Shittykawa? I thought you were the one that cheated on her you pile of trash! She's over you!"

Iwaizumi continues, "your injury may have disabled you temporarily, but I honestly believed you would be coming to practice more after the doctor said you could walk again. Stop being so childish!"

Iwaizumi flicks the back of the brunette's head, receiving a small " _ow_ " in return.

"You're a lot better than this," his friend sighs "figure it out."

The setter could barely be heard when he whispers "it's harder than it looks."

Oikawa's messy bed head could be seen from under the white sheets. The pillows and blanket reeked of tears and another foul stench, but he did not care one bit. He was afraid of facing one of the few people that kept him grounded again. Oikawa feared seeing her with his rival. He was utterly terrified of the inevitable future of losing you completely, of you forgetting all about him like they were never together in the first place. All because of one mistake he made. That girl was just starting to look more like you, and it was nearly impossible to resist. A year of being together, and he believed that you were the one. The king himself still believes that, but he is utterly petrified. Of himself and you.

He could almost visualize your face and hear your scalding words burn through his skin like a brand. He shivered, and more sobs wracked his body as he clutches the sheets again. He wanted to pretend he was deaf; he wanted to pretend he was blind, just for an eternity.

He hears Iwaizumi stand up and groan as he stretched his back from sitting for so long. The sound of his feet impacting the tatami mat echoes as he approaches the door to the hallway.

"Fix yourself, Trashykawa," Iwaizumi commands. "I'll beat your ass if you don't come to practice tomorrow."

The door slides shut and Oikawa was left alone with his thoughts. Perhaps what Iwaizumi said about you getting over him was causing him to get the severe desire to crush Shiratorizawa despite having lost to him in every match since junior high. He just felt as if he could regain his pride if he faced him, however, he cannot predict what he will feel once he faces his now ex-girlfriend. Reluctant as he is, he was overwhelmed with hatred, yet subtle yearning for what was once his.

 

 

The gifts begin when winter break begins in late December. This basket was filled with chocolates from a candy shop you liked, stuffed animals so fluffy they could only be bought from toy stores instead of crane games, and one decorated black box with a letter beneath it. They sat outside the door of your shared dorm in the girls dormitories of Shiratorizawa, and you were afraid that these belonged to your roommate instead of you. Said roommate is off campus visiting her parents while you remain alone in the cozy dorm.

Gently picking up the surprisingly heavy basket inside, you read the tag on the side of the handle. There was a particular and meticulous aesthetic to the writing of your name and that was when you realized that the gifts were for you. Already assuming the worst, your hands trembled as you peeled the letter off of the black decorated box and opened the envelope, revealing a crisp white paper with handwritten words.

_'Dear _____,_

_I hope you're having a good time at Shiratorizawa. I'm sorry for hurting you. I really am. I want you to take me back. I want you to talk to me again, so please unblock my number? I love you._

_With love,_

_\- Oikawa Tooru'_

You unconsciously grip the paper in your hand. The force of your grip was powerful enough to crack a glass and it crumpled the paper so terribly that your nails tore through the back. Did he not get the memo? Did he still believe that this relationship would ever work out especially after that? The chocolates were expensive enough, the bear could have costed more than than what she paid for his shoes, and the box, that was soon opened by your shaking hands contained a silver charm bracelet that could have been worth three times as much.

Oikawa Tooru was a prideful person on and off the court. His flamboyance and effort combined was evident in the design of the basket, yet what was the point? Earlier this week you and Ushijima had begun to address each other familiarly, and now you are pressured with this proclamation of love that you are unsure to accept or burn in an incinerator. Returning it was one idea, but burning it was a better yet impulsive one.

Tears streaked your face as you crumbled to the floor, but as if the gods were hearing your cries, your phone vibrated revealing a notification from Ushijima, asking if you wanted to eat lunch together with him. You rubbed your eyes and went through the text again.

After 15 minutes of getting rid of the puffiness from your eyes, you responded that you would meet him in the cafeteria. Maybe you should consult him before simply doing things out of impulse. He was an understanding and level headed guy, and you knew that he would provide you the advice needed.

Picking up your winter coat after slipping into your school sweats, you closed the door behind you and locked it. Your trek down the hall and to the cafeteria was quiet, yet despite being able to walk through the warm corridor, you felt a certain coldness pierce through you. You suspiciously glance behind your back, then proceed to walk a little faster.

 

 

"Wakatoshi-kun, good afternoon," you call from behind him before seating yourself on the seat in front of him. "How are you holding up?"

"Good," he states simply before poking at a cherry tomato in his salad bowl.

You could tell he came directly from practice, and he was the first to arrive at the table before everyone else plus he reeked slightly from sweat. Perhaps the team allowed him to leave first because they knew you would be there as well. Most of the time, Ushijima would walk together with the team if not behind them. You would only assume Tendou would be behind the setup.

"I need your input, _Wakkun_."

Ushijima raised his head from his bowl and placed his chopsticks on the tray. He let out an approving sound much similar to a _'mhmm?'_ In all truth, you were more surprised that he allowed you to call him that.

"Oikawa's being persistent, he left a gift outside my door today and it's all expensive items— I don't know what to do," you solemnly look down on your food. "I'm over him. You know I am, but he's being pushy!"

Another deep hum of understanding and Ushijima picks up his water bottle to take a sip before setting it back down next to his tray.

"Oikawa is a skilled player," he begins. "He should have come to Shiratorizawa if he wanted to be with you, but he is too prideful to ever think of that."

"So you're saying that Oikawa was never genuine towards me?"

"Mm, one would see it as that."

"Then why would he leave those gifts for me?"

"Anyone could woo anyone with money and gifts. If he truly wanted you back he would come here and talk to you directly. Not through some gift."

" _Wakkun_... you're so wise! You're definitely right. I feel like I'm talking to a wall when I argue with Oikawa."

A tray drops on the space on the table next to where you sat. Tendou pats your head before sitting down, and his face showed the smuggest shit-eating grin. He definitely was behind Ushijima's early arrival.

"I can see you guys are warming up in this cold weather," Tendou hums. "Already conspiring against the king himself?"

You shake your head, "I'm not 'conspiring' against him, Satori-kun."

Semi and Reon soon arrive, with Kawanishi, Shirabu, and Yamagata not too far behind. The team takes up about three tables vertically. Semi decides to take the empty seat next to Ushijima and gives you a supportive smile. In response, you shot the entire team except for the oblivious captain with a terrible scowl.

"_____ what's the matter?" The captain asked, proceeding to pick up his chopsticks.

"Nothing, Wakkun. Just finish your food. You want to get back to practice soon, right?"

"What about you? Any practice this week for [sport]?"

"Nearly everyone left to visit their families. I'm surprised none of you have left."

"That's because I wanted to fit in as much training before the spring tournament. We're losing the seniors this  year and I'm going to be promoted captain afterwards. Speaking of which, will you be coming to watch the games again? Your presence was much comforting among the crowd."

" _O-Oh_... uh—"

Tendou interrupted your barely comprehensible sentence, "of course she will Wakatoshi-kun! She loves watching us play! Especially _you_."

"Haha," you wheezed out a chuckle, redness beginning to stretch on your face. "I... just think that Shiratorizawa's matches are very e-exciting a-and refreshing outside of [sport]. Your form is also very beautiful— wait, I mean—!"

Reon lets a hearty laugh from the other table. Apparently, the rest of the team was eavesdropping on the entire conversation. Tendou rubs the your back as a sign of comfort as he tells you that there was nothing to be embarrassed about complimenting Ushijima's beautiful spiking form because he did so as well. It did not help the situation and in fact, made it worse. By now, you were red all over your face and Ushijima releases a deep laugh that makes the entire team stop and stare.

"W-What's so funny?" you stutter.

Ushijima raises his chopsticks and holds the cherry tomato in front of you, almost side by side from his perspective. " _You look like a cherry tomato_."

 

 

The second years transitioned to third years and Ushijima was glad to accept the role of captain for Shiratorizawa's boys’ volleyball team before inter-high. It was already predetermined that he would become captain; he was simply just miraculous.

Meanwhile, you remained as average as ever in your sport. Soon enough, you found ways to spectate the practice matches while still being able to attend to yours. Your sport did not practice every day like the volleyball teams because they shared a gym with another indoor sport.

With the matter concerning the gifts, instead of simply throwing away the gifts, you gave them to Tendou or your roommate, who both gave you the advice of being petty in order to chase him away. These gifts were persistent every month though, and you simply just learned how to cope. It was mostly your roommate that insisted on hiding the gifts before you saw them to avoid any unnecessary tears. Life returned to normal with the help of you friends. _What would you do without them?_

You were stable enough to follow the volleyball team to demonstrate your support and Reon suggested that you should become the manager since you were able to make time to visit them when you already had a sport of your own on top of your studies. You state that you were comfortable enough on the sidelines as a team as powerful as Shiratorizawa did not need a manager. Tendou still annoys you with the idea of being manager just so you can _'drool over Wakatoshi'._

"Ah, Ushijima-san looks amazing as always!" One of the cheerleaders squealed as you along with other girls observed the team practice in the auxiliary gym.

Shiratorizawa was up next to go against the winner from the other bracket, but the issue was that Aoba Johsai was presumed to win the semifinals, meaning you would have to run into Oikawa and the league of girls that would always crowd around him. You tried to think of ways to avoid Oikawa, who was also promoted captain in the start of his senior year, but most plans included hiding behind Tendou the entire time.

"I'm not going to walk with you! I can't risk being seen by anyone," you reasoned. "I'll be eaten alive!"

The cheerleaders had left to get into position on the bleachers along with many other students who came to cheer them on. You took this as an opportunity to talk to the team before their match as they cleaned up the auxiliary gym after its use.

"But Wakatoshi-kun will be sad if he doesn't get to hold your hand!" Tendou jokes.

"Satori! _You idiot!_ Shut up!" 

Ushijima places his hand on Tendou's shoulder as if trying to calm him down.

"Hey, hey, Wakatoshi-kun," Tendou began.

"Don't you dare, Satori!" You hiss.

"Won't you be sad if you don't get to see _____-chan before the match against Seijoh?"

Ushijima bluntly remarks, "Aren’t I seeing her now?"

"Satori! I'll kill you!" you growl.

"I don't see the issue in you seeing me," Ushijima states. "And please don't kill Tendou, he's an important member of the team. Killing him would weaken our defense."

Before you could say anything else, Shirabu, the second year runs up from behind

Ushijima and notifies them that it was time to go in. They were up against Seijoh again. The captain nods as the setter turns and runs back into the gym.

You could barely formulate words as you spoke, "Ah, uh, Waka—"

"You should go around the back if you don't want to be spotted by Oikawa," Ushijima suggests.

You beam as you peer down the hall, about to dismiss yourself until Ushijima reached out for your right wrist with his left.

"And please," Ushijima says softly. "Cheer for me."

"Of course."

 

 

You remained alert when peeking down corners to see if anyone from Seijoh was down the corridors; you did not want be recognized. Just a few more cautious steps past the water fountain and you would be able to enter the gym through the furthest entrance, which was mainly used as an exit. Right before you could push the doors open, however, you felt a crushing grip on your shoulder pull you back and hit the wall. Your head felt weightless from the impact that for a second you believed you just had a concussion. The pressure then moved to your wrists.

"_____-chan," Oikawa spoke breathlessly. "It's you...! I saw you come down here.... _I wasn't sure,_ but here you are!"

"Oikawa! Let me go!" You barked.

He felt his eye twitch at the sound of his surname being called instead of his given name.

"Why won't you text me?" His gaze was a blazing fire on your face. "Did you like the gifts I sent you? Did you read the letters I wrote?"

" _It hurts, Oikawa_!" You cry out from beneath his deathly grip.

Realizing how much strength he forced on your wrists, he released them and hands soon found their way to his chest where you attempted to push him away. He did not budge, however. Hot tears threatened to spill from your tear ducts as your face heated up in anger and the sight of it made the captain's hands move straight to hold your face.

" _Don't push me away, baby,_ " he whispers, airy from emotional agony that it almost sounded like he was crying. "It was an accident. She reminded me of _you_! I missed you so much!"

You read so much apology and sincerity in his deep chocolate irises. "What part of ' _we're over_ ' did you not get from Iwaizumi!?"

"I don't care how much you beg, Shittykawa!" You apply more strength onto pushing him away. "I don't want to go back to that! I don't want to be played by you! Just leave me alone!"

"No, no, _____-chan," he whimpers from hearing you raise your voice.

By now, he appeared delusional with how his pupils dilated at the sight of you. Tears of betrayal pricked the corner of his eyes as he tries to press your faces together into a desperate kiss. You were certain someone could have heard you by now from all the ruckus you've been making, but Oikawa could care less. Having inferior strength compared to the volleyball player, you bit down on his tongue as it tried to enter past your lips as a last resort. He pulls away from the kiss and the rustic taste is left in both of your mouths, crimson staining your lips brighter than any gloss or lipstick you've ever worn.

You hear fast footsteps approach you at an alarming rate. Iwaizumi could be seen pulling Oikawa away from you and throw him down on his back. A sharp pain echoes throughout his body, but he was used to being hurt by his friend. What he wasn't used to was being hurt by _you_.

Iwaizumi barks, "What _hell_ are you doing!?"

Oikawa's judging eyes never left yours as a look of disbelief etched your face. His expression was somewhere in the gray zone of emotional distress and anger, but you weren't sure; there were gears turning in his head, even _you_ could see that. Iwaizumi is shouting out curses as he drags Oikawa by the arm, giving an apologetic stare to you with his blood dripping down your lips. You wipe it off with the inside of your shirt and proceed to opening the doors to the gym.

The captain would have to sit out for the entirety of the game, not that he minded. He had already lost when he saw you with his longtime rival. Meanwhile, the ace that pulled him away was not pleased, as his injury guaranteed a win for Shiratorizawa. Without his presence on the court, the team would be in disarray, but that did not matter. Oikawa had been defeated long before the match began.


	2. 二 | phoria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No matter what she did to stop him, he kept coming back. Deep in her mind, she knew that Oikawa was persistent, but to what extent?

Oikawa was ' _Perfect_ '— keyword ' _was_ '. He was the very embodiment of the ideal to everyone, he even appealed to the boys. All of his senpai admired his presence, the way he _glows_ among a heap of trash. You believed you were leagues below him, but he chose you anyways. For the most part, he passed off as someone who would turn out gay after dating girl after girl, but Oikawa Tooru would always choose you over his best friend any day. You just believed that they had a stronger synergy than you ever would with him. It was strange at first, but you got used to it.  
  
Moving to Miyagi was perhaps one of the biggest changes in your life and you were affected immensely by it. Without any friends in junior high, you sat alone on most days during lunch, reading a book, or even studying for a test that wasn't for another week. During your second year in Kitagawa Daiichi, Oikawa began to notice you, and approached you with no fear, and only pure intentions. That was in the past, though, and he never thought he'd fall in love with you as time progressed. It just kind of happened, and he was euphoric when he discovered those feelings.  
  
The classroom was empty with barely any students loitering in the halls. It was quite nice outside so everyone had decided to enjoy the weather by spending their lunch outside. Oikawa was curious as to why someone like you would enjoy studying when _"there's people dying to talk to a person as beautiful as you_ ". At first you were shocked, since no one ever referred to you as that aside from you parents. Iwaizumi gave him a look of disbelief. Was this supposed to be a prank? Oikawa was smart for his age, but was he being ignorant?  
  
" _I'm sorry!_ " He bowed deeply. " _I must've embarrassed you!_ "  
  
" _No, no, it's fi—!_ " You tried to assure him.  
  
" _Please sit with us tomorrow—if you don't mind!_ " He proposes.  
  
Ballsy, that's what he was, having asked you to sit with him even when he didn't know your name. You knew his, though, girls screamed it loud enough to be branded inside the back of your head. He was hit in the back of the skull by his friend very close friend, Iwaizumi, who happened to be in the same class as you.  
  
" _Ow! Iwa—!_ " He cried.  
  
" _Oikawa, you idiot! You don't even know her name!_ " Iwaizumi barks.  
  
Oikawa chuckles nervously as he rubs the back of his skull where he was hit and glances back into your deep orbs. You were unimpressed to say the least—with a thin line formed on your lips and unreadable, but inexpressive eyes. He could already feel himself growing attached to you, and it would only blossom from there.  
  
" ______. Pleased to meet you, Oikawa-san._ "  
  
  
  
Once the seniors had left Shiratorizawa, it was Ushijima's turn to lead the team to nationals. No amount of practice could hinder the team's undeniable strength, and that was evident through their trips to colleges because no other team in the prefecture could challenge them. Sometimes the players would come to them, on some days, they took the bus around and outside the prefecture. As you were home-bound in Shiratorizawa, you made extra certain to check your phone whenever you had the chance. Ushijima was more comfortable texting you about anything, though if it were up to him, the topic was mostly revolved around volleyball.  
  
Ushijima was often missing due to his involvement with Japan's national youth league and it would be an understatement to say that you were proud to be his girlfriend. These were one of the days that he would leave Miyagi to train and come back a week later. As lonely as it was being left behind, he made sure to keep in touch, giving you updates on what his training is like every day compared to Oikawa, who seemed to leave you in the dark.  
  
'From: _Wakkun_  
Subject: _Tokyo trip_  
  
_I went jogging early in the morning before practice and stopped by a shop that sells handmade charms. One reminded me of you so I bought it. Do you want it?_ '  
  
'To: _Wakkun_  
Subject: _Tokyo trip_  
  
_Wakkun, aren't you training in Tokyo right now? What are you doing stopping by shops? Also, yes._ '  
  
'From: _Wakkun_  
Subject: _Tokyo trip_  
  
_It's 6 A.M. and training doesn't start until 7:30. I took a scenic route this time._ '  
  
'To: _Wakkun_  
Subject: _Tokyo trip_  
  
_Be careful Waka, there are some scary people in Tokyo. I don't want you to get hurt or kidnapped. The team and I will be sad._ '  
  
'From: _Wakkun_  
Subject: _Tokyo trip_  
  
_I'm fine. I doubt anyone would have the audacity to confront a person like me._ '  
  
'To: _Wakkun_  
Subject: _Tokyo trip_  
  
_That sounded conceited, Wakkun. Oh well, at least you're back in the gym right? And you're coming back tomorrow?_ '  
  
'From: _Wakkun_  
Subject: _Tokyo trip_  
  
_Yes, I'm back in the gym. Everyone's still eating breakfast though. And yes I'll be coming back tomorrow._ '  
  
'To: _Wakkun_  
Subject: _Tokyo Trip_  
  
_Okay, Toshi! I have to go get ready for practice now! I hope to see you first thing tomorrow, 'kay?_ '  
  
'From: _Wakkun_  
Subject: _Tokyo Trip_  
  
_'Kay._ '  
  
You smiled at your phone. There was definitely something different about being in a relationship with Ushijima than being in one with Oikawa. Ushijima's love was blunt, but clear as day. There was clarity like purified water—something your relationship with Oikawa did not have. The setter wasn't genuine, not often, no. For the longest time, you believed it was better than no genuine reactions, but at the same time it was a sign that he couldn't bring you closer to him beyond his mental boundaries. It was a consistent wall that remained towering between you.  
  
Ushijima made sure neither of your lives have to change. Like Oikawa, he was dedicated to volleyball. The ace's life was more frantic than Oikawa's but he made sure that you got the attention that did not hinder either of your lifestyles. It was a purely flexible relationship—free, and transparent. Tendou could tell, too; Ushijima changed slightly when he met you. He had to be honest, though, the middle blocker believed that his captain would never find love or choose not to. Because he was the captain of Shiratorizawa's boys volleyball team and is practically one of the best aces of the entire nation, he would have admirers, right? You feeling honored is an understatement. He treated your relationship like the finest gold; you were cherished, it was something your previous lover did not do.  
  
Shutting off your phone as you placed it into your gym bag, you slipped into your uniform with a wide grin on your face. Your teammates changing next to you teased the lovestruck appearance you never knew you had.  
  
"They're so in love," one girl sighs.  
  
"You're practically dating a rock, but it seems to work out," another says.  
  
You huff, "Wakatoshi is not a _rock_."  
  
"You know what they say about high school relationships: _they never last._ You guys are gonna end up not talking to each other ever again after you break up."  
  
"I don't want to think that way," you retort. "A relationship will last if both parties are willing to make it so. You guys make love sound terminal!"  
  
"We're just trying to protect you, ____-san. We know your reputation. You know with—"  
  
"—I have no idea who you're talking about!"  
  
  
It was after practice when your team decided to go out to eat. One agreed to pay for everyone so you couldn't pass up on the opportunity. Ramen was the best way to go now since a fulfilling meal would feel great after rigorous training for this year's inter high. However, the shop was just a little ways beyond Sendai. Nonetheless you all took the train; your captain said it was the best shop in Miyagi, after all. Her words would never disappoint you.  
  
Placing your chopsticks on the bowl, you thanked the shopkeeper for the meal one more time before heading out last with your teammates. You readjusted your blazer so that the shoulder handle would rest below your collar. Your teammates seem to have their own conversation as they kept a fast pace. Meanwhile, you were focused on finding a comfortable part on your shoulder for your satchel to hang on that you didn't realize that they took a turn down an intersection you didn't know you passed.  
  
"Fuck. Are you kidding me? And it's already sundown!" You mutter as you look around for road signs. "I don't know this part of Sendai!"  
  
Of course you never took the time to memorize roads beyond Miyagi; you only knew the area around Seijoh and Kitagawa Daiichi. You never left the neighborhood around those schools unless it were for tournaments or practice matches for [sport] and you've lived close enough to those schools  that you were able to walk to them. With Shiratorizawa, you lived on the campus, so you rarely ever had to leave unless your friends dragged you out for something like trying new places to eat or if you wanted, occasionally, visits to the local shrine.  
  
"I should go back to the shop," you suggested to yourself.  "Where is that again?"  
  
Turning on your heel, you begin your aimless stroll through a neighborhood that was completely unfamiliar to you. You held your phone in wait for someone on your team to notice that you were missing and message you whilst preparing to send one of your own. There was an unshakable eerie feeling that came along with walking alone at night, and you couldn't help but feel anxious.  
  
The road lamps did not provide you with any comfort on your trek back to a familiar road. A half written message frantically typed as you pick up pace and walk faster—fear creeping in rapidly with every step. A sudden grip at your shoulder nearly sends your soul straight out of your body and you were about to scream for help until a hand muffled any sounds coming from your mouth. Tempted to bite the hand preventing you from alerting anyone nearby, you struggle in the grip of an unknown attacker. You clawed at anything you could reach, but since he was behind you, you couldn't make out his appearance.  
  
The hand on your face is rough, calloused, disgustingly warm; however, grip on your body leaves as soon as it arrives and you immediately rotated to view the face of your assailant. A man in his late-twenties cowered on the ground as he curls up in pain. He was punched, it seems, but by who?  
  
"_____-chan!"  
  
Oh that voice, you hated that voice, the one that rolled off his tongue so smoothly and called your name so familiarly—so anxiously.  
  
You gasp, "Oikawa-san!"  
  
He still seems hurt that you refer to him by his surname, but you're more perplexed of the fact he happened to be on this side of Sendai, and within the same vicinity as you. By the looks of it, he was in full athletic wear. He must've been jogging, but it was a far distance from where he lived. He wouldn't be stalking you by any chance, would he?  
  
" _I was... just going for a jog— I saw a girl being—!_ " Oikawa panted, clearly still catching his breath. "I— _you_!"  
  
It takes a couple gentle strides towards you for him to scoop you up in his arms. The scent of body spray beneath the layers of sweat wafted into your nose. It was familiar, but it was not longer comforting like you remember. Not knowing how to react, you let your arms dangle loosely at your sides as he embraces you. You eye your attacker from afar as he speeds off in the other direction, soon disappearing from your sight. He was most likely drunk by the way he struggled to run in a straight line. He would be caught in no time.  
  
"Thank goodness it was me! Or else you would've—!"  
  
"—Oikawa-san. Thank you," you grab at the arms that were placed around your neck and slide them off. "My friends are looking for me. I have to go."  
  
"Can I walk with you at least? Until you find your friends?" He sounded slightly desperate. "Surely you can't walk _alone_ after this."  
  
You hesitated to give an answer. "Okay."  
  
Your teammates were just as lost as you were, but were determined to find you. While Oikawa remained a meter away from you during your walk, he remained strangely silent. You knew him to be talkative, but considering that you two are no longer a couple, he would no longer be a part of your life like he used to. He seemed deeply apologetic, though.  
  
"Oikawa-san," your voice alerted him, and his gaze was no longer directed at the road in front of him.  
  
"I want you to move on," your thumb fiddled with the phone in your right hand. "I want you to find someone else that makes you happy. Please."  
  
Oikawa's steps halt and you are forced to look back as he glares down at the pavement with his fists clenched like a little child. He's stubborn. He has always been. You saw this coming, like one expected a toddler to break down immediately after having certain stimulus taken away.  
  
"I don't want to, _____!" He cries. "I love you! I'm not ready to let go of you!"  
  
"No one else matters!"  
  
Haven't you gone through this before? Your heart throbbed in guilt—it felt heavy, but you didn't love Oikawa anymore. How were you supposed to comfort him? Suppose it was your time to ease his demons yet again. Your arms extended awkwardly; you were inviting him to hug you. He didn't refuse to it and he has never refused to being in your arms. Being significantly shorter than him, his head remained on top of yours while you felt his tears begin to drip onto your scalp.  
  
"Please, I'm begging you," you whisper pleadingly. "It's better for the both of us."  
  
It only seemed to reduce the brunette to a mere child even more by the way he sniveled in your arms. To you, it really felt as if you were taking care of a toddler. The way Oikawa saw it, however, was that he needed you more than anything else in this world—like he would die if he didn't have you. It was like he was losing bits of his soul from watching you smile at Ushijima— with Ushijima.  
  
The image ate at his sanity little by little. He was supposed to be the one to do that—not him.  
  
He needs you back in his life. He just has to find a way to convince you. He could never win against Ushijima; he knew that, but if Oikawa could find a way for you to crawl back to him, he would do whatever he could to have you in his arms again. Even if it meant getting rid of any competitors.  
  
  
  
  
  
Inter-high preliminaries came around quickly and Oikawa appeared more stable to the team than he was before. Iwaizumi was more than relieved to hear his energetic voice greet his fangirls in the morning and they were more than happy to continue their cycle of gift-giving all over again. 'That idiot must've done something,' Iwaizumi assumes as he observed Oikawa accept the delicately prepared sweets.  
  
"Trash," Iwaizumi utters as he creeped up behind him.  
  
Slapping his hand on the captain's shoulders he gives the girls around him a somewhat forced smile that counters the harsh grip he has on Oikawa's shoulders. His nails were digging into his shoulder blade and the brunette attempted to keep his composure as he is slowly pulled away from the crowd. Seijoh faces Karasuno today and Oikawa was enthusiastic to see the look of despair on his kouhai's face as he crushes them on the court. On top of that, he gets to see _____ on the stands cheering for Shiratorizawa.  
  
It was on the other court that he saw you trying to communicate to Ushijima among a crowd of chanting students. Apparently, you had come up with hand signals that only you two could understand. You used your hands to form a heart and a look of adoration echoed across the gym, resonating in the ace's heart. He responds with a small heart formed with his index finger and thumb. Some of the girls in the stands glanced at each other, trying to figure out who he was directing it to, but of course he knew it was only for you. How laughably adorable.  
  
Oikawa mutters something along the lines of "I'll kill him." Definitely, his hatred was more than a simple jealousy for what he did not have. He trails behind Iwaizumi into their gym with a bitter expression etched on his face. His hands balled into fists inside of the pockets of his jacket.  
  
"Drop that attitude outside of the court, Trashikawa," Iwaizumi states. "Being penalized for your shitty behavior is the worst thing that could happen in your third year."  
  
Oikawa gasps mockingly, his demeanor changing rapidly, "I don't know what you're talking about, Iwa-chan."  
  
"You looked like you could kill Ushijima on that court."  
  
"Nope! I did not look like that. Frowning too much causes wrinkles, you know, and I want to still be _beautiful_ when I play for the national team."  
  
"Whatever, Shittykawa."  
  
Earlier the brunette had run into his precious underclassman, Kageyama from Kitagawa Daiichi, who had happened to be a first year at Karasuno High School— the team he was up against today. Apparently his team had remained undefeated in their bracket, but that ends today. He had to show him— he had to demonstrate to everyone exactly why he was the so-called 'King of the Court'. He felt confident, as always, but with different motivations this time.  
  
He was going to show his precious _____ that he should be the only flicker of light reflected in your eyes, not Ushiwaka. Not anyone. No one, just him. It was only fair, though. He saw only you, so why won't you return the favor?

It was as if his upper half dove head-first into a pit of delusion due to the fact he still believes he never ended his relationship with you. He refused to believe otherwise. In his eyes, you were just being stubborn, and once he'd convince you over food and a few choice words, you two would go back to normalcy again. That was the cycle, and Ushijima happens to be the obstacle that interferes with it.  
  
  
  
Oikawa is satisfied to some degree after today. A haughty grin and a boosted ego followed after winning the match against Karasuno. He got to see Kageyama Tobio’s look of disappointment along with his team upon their loss; that was more than enough to boost his pride. His entire team was treated udon at dinner, and after, he dismissed his entire team except for Iwaizumi, whom he walks home with.    
  
It isn’t until he gets home and closes the sliding door to his cluttered room, that he breaks down into tears again. It’s barely audible that you’d have to be in the same room to hear him sniffle. He’s crying again, and he thinks it’s really fucking annoying that he does this spontaneously when he’s alone. It happens more than once a week usually, and he does it when he’s certain no one is around. He has to escape his fangirls, and his team, just so that they wouldn’t have to see this side of him. These tears were for you, and they were reserved for you only.  
  
Within the clutter are the numerous photos he has of you and him. He’s obsessed with your face— the very essence of you, and has kept everything you’ve ever gifted him close. He was reluctant to wear the shoes you left behind the day you caught him, but he wore them today with so much pride. The teal accents made him think how considerate she was, so generous, so kind, so... _ungrateful_. He’s done everything for you, gifted you with things that are worth more than the shoes you gave him, and poured his heart and soul into every custom made jewelry and letters. This is how you thank him? By disregarding him and leaving him for that _cow_? He keeps repeating, muttering as he clutches his chest, despising the clenching of his trembling, fragile heart.  
  
After a couple hours of heaving onto the clean sheets, he passes out, exhausted from crying too much. This happens frequently, and he can’t really stop it. He blames it entirely on you, but also Ushijima. It sends him to a state of dysphoria that steals his breath, but that night he dreams of you, in a time— in a land, where Ushijima did not exist at all. All he sees is you. It’s a good dream, he thinks. Unhinged, but good. It’s the best sleep he’s ever gotten in a while, and he’s thankful, almost. It distracts him from the fact that Seijoh was facing Shiratorizawa in the finals the day after tomorrow. He'll go in believing they will win, he always does.  
  
  
  
If he were given the opportunity, Oikawa would play to his last breath. He was skilled enough to accommodate to any player, and is observant enough to apply his long knowledge of the game. Still, he chose to go to Aoba Johsai and still, he remained there, even after you transferred. He loved you, but he didn’t want to kiss the ass of his rival that currently owned you.  
  
The loss was expected, and both teams played exceptionally well. Oikawa managed to avoid your eyes the entirety of the match, which you thought was a relief. The girls that always followed him cheered him on from across the court and you made sure to cheer louder than them along with your classmates in an organized, well practiced chant. The glimmer of pride seemed to reflect back onto the captain as he and the rest of the team was awarded for winning the Inter-High.

 

The momentum of the win died down after a week and Ushijima was to travel out of the city again for the national youth team. This time, you followed him to the train to wish him luck on his training.

“If you get hungry, eat the lunch I packed you. It’s nothing too filling, just enough for the train ride— salmon rice balls,” you noted softly. “Stay hydrated, too.”

Ushijima nodded silently.

“Six hours is a long time, Wakatoshi. Did you bring a book?” You continued.

“Yes,” he responds simply. “You don’t want me to text you on the train?”

“No, save your battery for when you get off, plus I’ll be at practice while you’re traveling.”

“Train hard.”

“You too, Toshi. Make me proud.”

Ushijima initiates the hug, much to your surprise. His right hand makes home on your back as he nestled his left at your nape, slowly creeping up to the back of your head. His eyes are soft as he stares at your lips with heavy contemplation. By the look on his face, he looked to be making a decision before he leans down and presses his warm lips to yours. His dominant hand travels to the side of your cheek and caresses your face gently, positioning it to where he wants it to be.

He’s inexperienced, you could tell. He’s never had physical contact like this and he was probably given tips by someone on the team— Tendou most likely. But it’s not like _Tendou_ had any experience, did he? The ace grazes the tip of his tongue on your bottom lip and you oblige to long makeout session at a hidden corner near the tracks, somewhat away from people, but still visible to the public eye. He’s trying, and you can’t help but feel flustered like you didn’t lose your first kiss to Oikawa. Unfortunately, the kiss ends abruptly when Ushijima pulls away with a thin thread of saliva connecting your lips.

“‘M’ goin’ to miss you, Wakatoshi,” you huff breathlessly. “Kiss me more when you get back, okay?”

He nods with a noticeable blush on his cheeks.

 

Your life is well, you’re ecstatic. Ushijima just had his first kiss from you, and now you’re squealing about it to your teammates who just sigh and roll their eyes. You can’t seem to stop talking about it, and you even show off to Tendou. The rapid beat of your heart doesn’t stop and you’re riled up during practice and even bouncing around on your bunk in your shared dorm. You’ve never been this satisfied, and you could almost hear wedding bells in the distance.

That’s too soon, though. _Nah_ , nothing’s too soon. Everything happens in the mind and it becomes almost expected once it takes place. Oikawa is in the past, he’s irrelevant, and he becomes nonexistent now that his empowering occupance in your mind is replaced with Ushijima. It’s expected.

You spend the next couple days cherishing the memory of the kiss, still dwelling on the feeling of his lips on yours, constantly touching them, missing his presence. You’re ecstatic, you’re completely lovestruck. You’re in love.

 

Such ecstacity does not last forever. An ominous buzz jolts you awake at 5:00 A.M.— an hour before you even wake up and get ready for classes that day. It’s a cloudy Wednesday morning, and your dorm is cold. Your roommate is still fast asleep, as she wakes up at around the same time you do. The notification pops up, and it’s a message that’s to-the-point, and barely beating around the bush.

‘Wakatoshi’s disappeared’ it reads from Reon. Reon is the first person to text you when it comes to serious matters concerning their captain when the captain himself is unavailable. This was one of the last things you’d expected to read from him.

‘What do you mean?’ You respond in a rapid, dazed, haze. ‘This better not be a prank.’

You’re tired, barely prepared for the day, you’re already brimming with tears. You’re unprepared and diving head first into an unfamiliar situation.

_‘I don’t know what else to say but read the articles, ask Coach Washijou, he really went up and left out of nowhere during his training camp.’_

_‘Impossible, he wouldn’t do such a thing. Volleyball is his passion, he wouldn’t just leave.’_

_‘We believe that too, but even if he did get kidnapped, there isn’t enough eyewitness to prove it as the police are certain he disappeared at night.’_

_‘No.’_

_‘I’m always here for you, the team is always here for you if you want to talk.’_

_‘Thanks.’_

 

You’re restless that day, and the entire school is on edge and in an awkward disposition. It’s silent and even the cheerleaders spend and multiple periods of silence under the heavy atmosphere of grim rumors. Rumors spread quickly, don’t they? Something was off, incredibly so to the point you’re paranoid. For some reason, students look at you strangely, barely even approaching you for consolation.

Did they assume you were a suspect? How could you? You were confined to school grounds the entire time Ushijima was gone, not even an ounce of distaste laced your genuine actions towards the volleyball captain. It’s suffocating, and you’ve been reduced to a paranoid mess again, except someone has died. Someone very important to you.

You’re old enough to not go crying to your parents. You have friends that have your back, you think. The boys’ team works harder now more than ever. Coach Washijou is in grief too, but that doesn’t stop him from pushing his team to be the best. It’s not like Ushijima’s dead.

Yeah. Perhaps he took a wrong turn while jogging, maybe he caught the wrong train, or what if he got the address wrong and his phone died? No, he would’ve texted you. Every thought lead to the possibility. The possibility that he’s—

“ _Hey you_ ,” a grim, feminine voice summons you from the solemn pits of despair.

It’s a cheerleader— not the same one you dorm with, however. Her fists are clenched and her short, tied up hair is taken by the gentle breeze. Her gaze is suffocating, wide eyes and cold glare. You could almost remember where you’ve seen that expression before—

“You have something to do with Ushijima-san’s disappearance, don’t you?” She interrogates.

You're distraught by such a bold claim. “N-No why would I? I would never do anything to h-harm—“

The cheerleader snatches her phone from her varsity jacket’s pocket. Sounds of frustration can be heard as she unlocks her phone and presents a photo of you and Ushijima by the tracks. You could feel a cold sweat drip down the side of your head. What was this supposed to mean?

“I don’t know what you mean,” you responded softly trying not to aggravate her more than she already was.

“You were the last person to see Ushijima-san before he left for his training camp in Tokyo. That means you must know where he is, right?” One accusation after another fell from her glossy lips. “Are you keeping him somewhere? Did you hire someone—!?”

“No! Why would you say such a thing?” You spat back. “I love Wakatoshi with all my heart— I would never hurt him!”

“Exactly— you’re keeping him all for yourself aren’t you!?”

Before you could say another word, her dainty, manicured hand wraps into a fist and swings around to impact the side of your head. You fall back against the pavement from the hit with a short scream. She was taller, more built than you were despite the fact you were both athletes, so you could feel the effect of such strength on the growing bruise located on your cheek by your left ear. You cried out for help as she brought down her foot on your stomach and kicked your side. The metallic taste of blood prickles the back of your tongue, waiting to come out, but it stops and suddenly your attacker is gone.

A gentle hand taps at your shoulder and you slowly open your eyes to see Reon by your side with a look of worry etched on his face. Semi is there, too, and his expression isn’t any different. Semi was the first to ask what had happened to you as Reon helped you on your feet.

“Should we report this?” Reon questioned. “I think we should.”

“The person who attacked me,” you began. “I think she’s the cheerleading captain.”

“It doesn’t matter who she is, we need to report whoever hurt you. This isn’t acceptable!” Semi asserts.

“We’ll escort you to the main building, and you have to report everything that occured,” Reon suggests.

You nod as they help you walk from the back of the gym all the way to the teacher’s office. The lingering pain of the cheerleader’s attack plus the additional stress caused by the idea that there could be more people out to get you terrorized your thoughts. The captain of the cheerleading team was not the type of girl who would do such a thing, yet here you were, reporting her for assault. Even in this time, you’d observe her to be a gentle admirer of Ushijima, like the rest of the cheer squad, but it seems to be more than that.

As powerful of an influence that she was over many of the students at Shiratorizawa, you feared that conditions would escalate from here and not even the teachers would be able to defend you.

And it pulled at your stomach, that maybe-- _just maybe_ , transferring here was a bad idea.

  



	3. 三 | again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You and only you,” his voice is laced with much apology. You’re over apologies, but something about the way he laced his fingers with yours unraveled a layer of sadness that a simple apology could never solve. 
> 
> “For eternity,” he whispers.
> 
> And now you’re the uncertain one this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for NSFW content otherwise noted.

“ _Goshiki-kun_ ,” you whisper beneath ragged breaths. His smothering hold has zero space between you and him before he ducks down again in attempt to kiss you. “That’s enough-- we’ll get caught.”

It’s strange how quickly things went downhill. You could barely detect the sensation of the hormonal first-year pressing himself against you. He utters something about always wanting what Ushijima has and how he’s able to grasp it now that it’s in his reach. It began as a simple comfort, against the spreading rumors and the vague essence of bullying that harmed you every couple of days. It began with a singular flower inside of a glass vase that awaited you every Monday at your homeroom desk and Semi would dispose of it on days that he arrived to class before you.

It was a necessary precaution that Kawanishi and Shirabu would accompany you during lunch to help you avoid any unnecessary interactions with any of the cheerleaders as your roomate seemed to barely acknowledge your existence nowadays. She doesn’t touch your stuff, however. She has decency. As you expected, the board took little action and the boys’ volleyball team decided to step in without any direct order.

The measly, starry-eyed first year with big ambitions immediately sought you as he entered Shiratorizawa only to see you already paired with the captain. He never did stop looking at you; you were breathtaking, confident, and decisive-- a perfect fit for their captain. But where was he now? Neither you knew. No one did. _He’s been missing for a month now and you’re slowly losing your grip on reality that you’re even beginning to mistake Goshiki for_ \-- _no you weren’t going to turn into Oikawa._ Actually, how was he doing?

“You’re so beautiful,” he hums as he presses himself harder against you. “I like you, ______.”

That familiar, salty fluid drips from your cheeks as Goshiki roams his hands around your body. Upon hearing the first sob slip from your lips, he pulls back and quickly analyzes your face. You don’t remember how Goshiki began coming at you with these spontaneous attempts at attention that he so desired from you. It’s just like Oikawa. Well, since Ushijima’s disappearance, the setter hasn’t been sending you large gifts, but instead, stuffed animals that would soon be taken away by the janitor.

“I-,” The first year feels guilt now. “I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have--!”

“It’s fine, Goshiki,” You breathe out. “It’s fine.”

He bows deeply and excuses himself, fixing his uniform as he sprints to the gym on the other side of the campus for practice. Some part of you wishes to be held again, but at the same time, you knew that it wasn’t what you needed right now. Lazily dragging yourself back to your dorm, you fall onto the bottom bunk and pull out your phone. There was nothing recent, nothing exciting. Not even your teammates remind you to come to practice. You weren’t even a regular.

Why did you come to this school?

You open your contacts to scroll down to your mother’s number. Before taking a large inhale and exhaling through your nose, you press on the call button and listen to the soft, idle ring.

“Hey, it’s me,” you spoke monotonously. “Can I… transfer back to Aoba Johsai?”

 

The transfer occurred after your first term in your third year. It was subtle, and you said your goodbyes to the team before they all said their individual wishes to you. Goshiki, seemed to take his time with his; Tendou hoped that you don’t end up with a trashy guy; Semi and Reon hoped you were treated better; and the rest of the team wished you luck on your emotional recovery.

 

You approached the front gates of your school with inexpressive eyes, watchful as you observed many people, old and new, pass you. You waited for a specific sound-- a certain voice. Iwaizumi’s, maybe Makki’s, or Matsu’s-- heck you’d be relieved to hear Oikawa’s. Perhaps you don’t remember why you transferred in the first place.

“Oikawa-san!” A squeal can be heard from across the courtyard.

You don’t know whether to run the opposite direction or go home. Going home sounds enticing, but you couldn’t miss too many school days. Instead, you rushed inside the building, putting away your shoes and heading to your assigned homeroom. Some part of you is glad you don’t share a homeroom with Oikawa; you shared a homeroom with Iwaizumi and he barely noticed you were here until he saw you with your head flat with your cheek resting against the surface of your desk.

“_____? Is that you?” He seats himself at the desk in front of you. “I thought you liked Shiratorizawa. Was it too much?”

“Yeah,” you mumble.

“I know what happened. I may not know the guy that well, but he seemed like a great captain, and a very lucky guy.”

“Hm.”

“Head up, _____, class is starting.”

Iwaizumi removes himself from the seat and heads toward his seat near the rear sliding doors. His gaze never wavering from your slouching back. The first bell rings and you eventually sit up at a snail-like speed to pull out a notebook and a pen. As he observes your sluggish movements throughout class, he notices that your sleeves are rolled down, unlike before, where you had your sleeves rolled up to avoid getting the cuffs dirty. The ace only assumed worse.

The lunch bell rings and you are able to leave the classroom without Iwaizumi noticing. You forgot to pack a lunch and now you’re heading to the vending machines for some sort of snack or drink that could quell your rumbling stomach until the end of the day. Not wanting to hear the sounds of annoying chatter you went to the vending machines near the far side of the school. Purchasing a box of strawberry milk, you seated yourself next to the machine and swallowed every drop of the sweet fluid until it was an empty carton. Your phone buzzed with messages from Iwaizumi, but you ignored them, finding a game of Plinko more interesting than messages of concern.

Tossing the carton, you begin your trek back to class until you hear a familiar whistle echo in the hallway you were walking in. Your pulse quickens and your blood runs cold; you’re a deer in headlights when you see the first chocolate lock of his hair peek through the corner of an intersecting hall. The world slows as you watch him be trailed like a mother goose by a crowd of girls. His eyes meet yours and they widen, sparkling with joy.

You don’t know what to do so you run before the crowd of girls could turn and catch a glimpse of your face. You sprint so fast that even Oikawa can’t catch up as he abandons his spot and chases after you. Adrenaline from an unknown excitement beats through your veins and you wish that he’d catch you. Yet your legs are putting itself one in front of the other faster than you’ve ever done before. You feel like prey being pursued by a predator and all you could think of is how to evade death. Climbing up staircases and eventually hiding yourself in the old music room. It’s dusty yet you cower behind old bass cases holding broken, used instruments.

The sliding door opens abruptly and frantic breaths fill the silent room. You’re trying to muffle the sounds of your harsh breathing with your knees as they’re folded in front of you. You hope that the captain gives up and goes away as soon as the lunch bell rings, but it’s 10 minutes before that happens.

It’s like he’s calling out to a kitten stuck on a tree as he looks around the dark room.

“_____-chan. Come out… _please_.”

He was moving around old desks, maneuvering around linen covered instruments before he spots the body of a trembling high school student balled in a corner behind a broken bass. You bring your head up to see him kneel down after sliding a few obstacles out of the way to reach you. He crawls desperately and you find it pointless to stay balled up as you released your legs and allowed for him to finally wrap his arms around you.

“ _Finally_ ,” he buries his nose into your hair. “ _You’ve come back to me_.”

 

For some reason, it’s like you never left Seijoh. You’re back to attending Oikawa’s volleyball practice ever since you quit [sport] at Shiratorizawa. At a state of neither being elated or depressed, Oikawa seemed have constant eye over your behavior as the days passed. You think, you’re going out again like regular couples as he holds your hand so tenderly at that cafe you like so much. You order what he ordered, and he finds that somewhat pleasing as feeds you a strawberry shortcake.

The first time he makes an intimate move, you think it’s wrong since you’re still mourning. He’s hugging you again, clinging like a koala as he views it as a form of comfort.

The second time, you feel discomfort with the weight on your shoulder as he eyes Iwaizumi with a look of childlike jealousy. You don’t mind it, though. It’s just like old times. Oikawa cares deeply for you. He’s loyal, and you simply _misjudged_ him.

The third time, you accept it. Arms wide open as he tackles you on the futon in a full cuddle attack. You remain motionless as he pecks kisses to your neck. Slight nostalgia wrecks you; it isn’t as bad as before. He loves you, and he never believed you left him. Any girl would kill to have a quality man like Oikawa.

You find it terrifying that Ushijima is slipping from your mind as time progresses, but it was natural to, right? Leaving everything to the police, you fell back to Seijoh hoping to be held again like you did before. Oikawa cushioned your fall and disguises it with grace back into his arms. It’s frightening, and you cry when he touches you the fourth time.

The fourth time is the most intimate. Oikawa kept his boundaries with you, but he was still a boy transitioning rapidly to a man. He kisses you with such fervor that you’re afraid you might completely lose it under his smothering hold. It was after the match between Shiratorizawa and Karasuno you spectated with Oikawa that he decided would be a great time to finally seal the deal with you. You let out little sobs as the colors of Shiratorizawa’s uniform haunts you.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” He stops kissing down your chest as he moves up to your face.

“It’s nothing, Tooru.”

“You have to tell me, or I won’t know. I can stop now if you want.”

“I just miss someone.”

Again, you can’t entirely read the expression on his face. It’s mix of irritation and disgust; you almost know what he’s going to say.

“Don’t think about other men when you’re with me. I should be the only one you think about. I think about you all the time. Isn’t it fair that I get that much attention and focus in return?”

And his head dives down to bite your collarbone. Your cries are muffled by his hand and he thrusts his length inside of you in one languid motion. Your eyes rolled back from the sudden pain of the stretch and the sensation of his tip hitting your womb. His mouth kisses a trail to the shell of your ear before he whispers words of adoration.

“Shh, my parents may be out but the neighbors could still hear you.”

“You’re so beautiful. I’m so glad you’re mine again. So, so glad.”

He presses harder against you and you can almost feel the his cock prodding through and reaching the deepest parts of your womb. You almost pass out from the overwhelming sensation as soft little mewls slip past his hand. The moment he picks up the pace, you’re already seeing stars as tears prick the corners of your eyes and your loving boyfriend is there to kiss them away.

“Feels good, huh? Stay with me. I’ll make you feel like this everyday. We’ll get married, move to Tokyo together to attend Tokyo U, and you’ll always be there to cheer me on once I’ve made it on the national team.”

You feel your first orgasm approach with relentless pounding in and out of your dripping cunt. Oikawa is pressing kisses to your head and neck, later then realizing that he’s sucking dark hickies onto your neck. Turning to bite the pillow that supported your head, you attempted to suppress your squeals of pleasure; it was useless though as curses and moans slip through gritting teeth. Oikawa holds your face and you unclench your teeth around the fabric of the pillowcase as you let out breathless whimpers. They’re soon silenced once he presses his soft lips on yours.

“Gonna cum?” He teases against your lips as he presses his left middle and index finger against your clit. “Cum hard for me then.”

Once again uniting your lips, your vision fades to white as he pushes himself as far as he can go and releases into the condom. The overstimulation you feel from him still thrusting gently forces your mouth to form silent screams. He eventually pulls out, removes the condom, and tosses it into the nearby bin before you hear him rip open another package. You squirm and moan lightly as you feel his hard warmth press against your spent opening.

“I wanna go another round, I’m still hard~!”

 

It’s midnight when Oikawa awakes from a peaceful slumber. His eyes immediately trail to your marred collarbone that faces him; it’s covered with hickies and love bites from the relentless fucking you’ve been at since six hours ago. Used condoms litter around the futon, and he will have to clean you and his room up before the sun rises. Luckily, Oikawa made sure you kept the noise to a minimum as to not attract the attention of his neighbors. There’s a look of adoration that glazes his eyes when he buries his head in your neck. His hands move to pull yours to his chest.

“I’m so glad to have you. I love you.”

He notices in the moonlight, the dashed scars on your wrists. Immediately, a pang of guilt washes over him as he reflects on his past actions. Bringing your arms to his lips, he kisses the scars with tears now falling from his eyes. Oikawa allowed a shaky breath to slip past his lips as he drops your arms in front of your body and moves to kiss your face.

“I love you… so much. I’m so sorry you had to go through this. It’s okay now, though. He’s gone. I made sure he won’t come back. I’ll be the one to protect you.”

How peacefully you slept, deep in slumber and well endowed in the activities of your dreams. You were deaf to Oikawa’s confession— his cold admittance to a kidnapping. He tenderly rubbed your cheek as he whispered these words softly.

“No, no. I didn’t kill him. He’s alive. Somewhere you don’t know. I’m just teaching him a lesson.”

“I’m doing this all for you, my love.”

 

You don’t quite remember when you began to change. One could assume that it was a gradual, obvious transition for the worse. Maybe it happened when you moved with Oikawa to Tokyo after graduation. It was a subtle, expected action since you both were dating for quite some time now. Both your parents and his consented to you living together and Oikawa provided the small studio apartment together with the money his family had in savings. It wasn’t much, but it was enough. You’re both still students, after all.

After getting accepted for who-knows-what, you got a part time job to help pay for the utilities and taxes; however, Oikawa, as mockingly chivalrous he can be, insisted he could provide for you. You refused because you’re already this much indebted to him. The least he could do was do a little more chores when he got back home from practice.

Didn’t Ushijima want to attend Tokyo U, too? Maybe if he were still around he’d be on the same team as Oikawa, though the thought was vaguely comedic. Or… not so much. His memory still leaves goosebumps on your skin. There was something terribly wrong with the circumstance of his disappearance, but the police haven’t figured out how or why he disappeared. He was at a convenient place—at the right time to disappear, or even be kidnapped. Yet there was no trace of him; the last time he was seen was in Tokyo station according to the security cameras, but there was nothing else. There was nothing to comfort you or put you at ease.

You’re still thinking about him two years after the incident. It’s strange, and it makes your mental state weaken to a fragile state. You can’t really get close to many people anymore and you’re more reserved than the time you were into [sport]. The only people you ever talk to is limited to a handful of people— Oikawa and Iwaizumi included. Oikawa doesn’t notice this change in your personality and embraces you wholeheartedly. He can be ignorant sometimes with that mighty pride of his.

“Promise me that you won’t leave,” he says while you’re relaxed on the couch in front of the small television displaying some comedy talk show. All you can do is nod on his chest as he rubs your back tenderly— a sign of appreciation.

“Good girl.”

  


One day, Oikawa comes home and he notices that you aren’t asleep in your shared bed or watching TV. You’re not baking or putting together a 5000 piece puzzle. Instead, he finds you cooped up in the bathroom, slightly lunged over the bathtub with blood draining from the wounds you’ve inflicted on yourself. Panicking, he grabs a dry cloth and presses it over your wounds with tears in his eyes. He wraps it around your forearm and ties it tightly, mentally debating whether or not he should handle this situation himself or call an ambulance.

“S-Stay with me now, ______,” his words are fragile, shaky. “Don’t close your eyes, okay?”

You can barely hear him, his words are wobbly in your ears and your vision is wracked with blurriness. This action was a shock to him, but not to you. He decides that you’re losing too much blood and that your consciousness is fading quickly that he calls an ambulance. You could hear and feel the paramedics carry you off inside the vehicle and Oikawa is there alongside you the whole time, holding your uninjured arm.

Being admitted to the hospital brings back quite some memories from the past. You’ve gotten ailments and injuries in the past like a sprained finger or two, maybe even some infection from not taking care of yourself. It was always pleasant to leave school and home and only worry about your health at the moment. Fleeting as it was, it was just a couple days and you’d be back to the same old routine.

Oikawa calls in to miss some days of practice just so he can visit you. You’ve been in therapy for about two months now and the psychiatrist has approved of you to go home, as long as you regularly see a therapist at a scheduled date. Higher dosages of medication is prescribed and Oikawa _makes sure_ you take them and you don’t overdose. He’s not relaxing until he sees you take them right in front of him.

The university suggested you take your studies online in order to catch up to the days you missed; but it wasn’t short of being forced to drop out because you were so behind. Your body simply refused to work, and the urge to rest was overwhelming. Oikawa made sure your schedules were tight enough that you did _some_ work and that you got breaks in between to get you out of your bad habits.

As for your part-time job, you were fired due to your frequent absences outside of your stay in the hospital. You’d blame it on your boyfriend for constantly keeping you in bed, as well as your lack of motivation to get up in the morning. It didn’t bother your boyfriend one bit since he did say he was going to provide for you.

“Ready for bed?” He asks after you down a glass of water.

Nodding, you trail him to the bed and tuck yourselves beneath the plush duvet. You face the terrace window and for the first time you notice how bright and beautiful the city looks at night. The apartment overlooks from a distance and you could make out the lights of corporate buildings and street lamps. Oikawa perhaps thought of this before he bought the apartment.

“I love you.” He says that every night. You don’t know how to respond.

 

“Tooru, we need to talk.” Oh, Oikawa dreads your tone. You came from the kitchen after making two meals for dinner. Oikawa is already somewhat knowledgeable on what you might say because on most nights, he cooks without a single command from you. He found it quite off that you’d ask to cook tonight.

He perks up from his laptop from across the kotatsu. “Yes?”

You make your way to the kotatsu and sit diagonally from him. Taking a couple deep breaths you take his hand in yours and as gently as possible, you tell him “I want to move out.”

“Move out? Of course! Just pick out a place and we’ll figure out the rest—“

“No, Tooru. I want to move out on my own,” you restate. “I’m breaking up with you.”

The look of anguish and shock tugs on your heart. You hated when Oikawa did this to you, his kicked puppy-dog eyes. He was attractive so that amplified it 10 times.

“No.”

“No?”

His hand repositions around yours and grips it with excruciating strength. You’re afraid he might fracture the bones on your wrist.

“You’re not leaving me,” he begins to sound delusional. “Not again.”

“Tooru, please. I can’t deal with this. You’re the reason why I was admitted to the hospital. I need to end this or I’ll never get better. Please.” You plead so gently.

“So? I can get better! I’ll change! Please, just don’t leave me! I can’t live without you! I’ll treat you better. Just tell me. I’ll do anything.”

“No, Tooru. This isn’t volleyball I—“

“You’re so selfish, _____. You aren’t even going to consider how I feel? You’re so cruel. I dumped every girl that confessed to me for you, and this is how you treat me?”

“Look, I—“

“You’re not going anywhere.”

Oikawa is quick to react. One moment you’re sitting with your legs folded beneath you and next you’re on your back, being tackled by the one who loves you most. You claw at his hands, but with your inferior strength, he captures them both and pins them above your head on the hardwood floor. He pulls something from his satchel that you soon make out to be a black box. He fumbled with opening it with one hand and pulls a single syringe from the box; you begin to thrash at the sight of it.

He plucks a transparent bottle from the same box and pokes the needle through the paper lid after uncapping it. Gathering as much of the clear liquid as possible, he yanks it from the bottle and places it above your neck.

“Don’t move.” He growls lowly. “This is for your own good.”

“You know,” he chuckles. “If I put in too much, I might kill you, and I don’t want that.”

Tears spill from your eyes as sobs bounced off the walls. Sometimes you hate Oikawa for deciding most of the things you do, including picking out the apartment. He knew this would happen, and he took extra precautions with the sound-proof walls. The cold liquid leaks into your blood and you thrash for a minute before your movements slow and completely stop. About half of the liquid remains in the syringe and Oikawa saves it for a later time.

Oikawa leans down to kiss your lips as you remain completely comatose beneath his touch. He spends a good while making out with you before he moves to clean up the mess.

“This is for your own good,” he whispers again as he places you on the bed and locks handcuffs around your ankles and wrists. He kisses your forehead and nestles himself by your body beneath the duvet. After this, he has much to deal with, including relocating you somewhere you can’t escape.


	4. 四 | Latibule

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa was perfect, and your mind was trained to believe he was always the man you dreamed about. He was your prince, he was your king, and you would always serve him for as long as you lived.

Breathing is what mattered most to you at the moment. Oikawa had taken your sight with a blindfold, your hearing with soundproof headphones, your movement with ropes, and your speech with a cloth gag. You were elsewhere, isolated in a silent world of your own, yet lately even your dreams became invaded by your lover’s presence. 

Time passed without you knowing and you worried whether or not you were even missed. Knowing Oikawa, he’d take of everything and sweep the situation under a rug. He was always such a charismatic guy that it would be easy for him to say that you were healthy and safe under his care to your parents and his. You wondered if he was even able to hide this situation from Iwaizumi, his closest friend since childhood.

“Darling,” he touches your face as you lay on the plush bed, whimpering at the sudden sensation of his skin. “I think it’s time for me to remove these, huh? I think you’d like that.” 

He traces the headphones situated on your head and covering your ears and removed them, granting you the ability to hear his voice after _so_ _long_. 

“My love,” he whispers gently into your right ear. “Do you want me to remove the blindfold off? And the gag?”

You nod silently. 

“You’re going to have to repay me, though. Do you understand?”

You hesitate, but you nod anyway.

”I’m glad you’re cooperating today.”

One by one, Oikawa removes the cloths tied around your head and your eyes adjust to the bright light of the room. Your jaw flexed in order to lessen the pain of being suspended for while. He keeps the ropes on, however, as he starts positioning you upright on his lap. The both of you were on bed centered in a moderately sized room. Considering that you used to live in a studio, you assume that he transferred you to a new place away from the life you had in Tokyo. You were incapacitated at the time and you were certain that the windows were reinforced and covered by a mirror film from the outside. The open drapes allowed sunlight through the window, but nonetheless, they remained closed and shut tight.

"Don't worry about a thing," he coos gently as he strokes the skin of your cheek. "No more tedious school work. No more nagging bosses. I'll take care of it. Just stay here."

"I'll have to leave a lot because I have to work to bring home money. Oh, and guess what! I made it on the team! The national team!" 

"I've always dreamed about playing for Japan's national team, but what I wanted more than anything was to be with you."

"I love you more than anyone else in this entire world."

He bends down to press a kiss to your forehead with an elated grin on his face. The way he looked above you-- completely lost in bliss-- you almost thought you sympathized with his behavior. Perhaps he does know what is best for you. He wouldn't have made it this far if he didn't work hard. He had always been like that. Pushing himself to be the best he can and make himself and others happy in the end. You were the target of his affections and perhaps you've gone sour for a while. You could barely even remember why you were so upset in the first place. 

"I," you could barely form words with your mouth still sore. "love you too, Tooru."

As the words escaped your mouth, Oikawa switched positions so that your back was on the bed and he was situated in between your legs above you. It was like he was waiting all along to hear those words from your mouth. Maybe you _have_ been neglecting him. You don't even remember the last time you praised him or said 'I love you,' but he always said it to you incessantly as a reminder. 

"Ah, I love you! I love you!" He presses more kisses to your face and neck. 

"Hey, _____," the brunette holds your face as he gazes deeply with the most disillusioned expression. "Let's get married! I'll invite everyone! Iwa-chan will be my best man! Where do you want to go for our honeymoon? Milan? Paris? If not in Europe then we'll go somewhere in Asia! How about Seoul? Manila?"

He goes off, listing numerous places you could visit. Meanwhile, you remained wide-eyed and speechless as such a beautiful man kept you suspended beneath him. You could hear him talk about how he didn't really want to wait to have kids since his volleyball career was just taking off and you'd be lonely at home while he was away. Again, he went off on a tangent about having at least six kids so that all Oikawas would one day become professionals like him. 

"Haha, speaking of which," his voice lowers, "how about we start making those kids _now_?" 

 

The ropes around your wrists and ankles were removed and Oikawa apologetically pressed kisses to the red burns on each limb. You winced at the touch, but felt appreciative of the gentle softness of his lips. Every graze of his calloused hands, every movement, was incredibly light as to not hurt you or put you in discomfort even slightly. His fingers trailed beneath your shirt from your stomach to your breasts and twisted the hardened nubs, making you moan between each kiss you shared with him. The brunette left so many hickeys on each side of your neck all the way down to your stomach and you can't help but cry out as he nibbles on your right breast while kneading the other. 

His right hand that was fondling with your left breast then left its spot and trailed to your pajama shorts and under the waistband of your cotton panties. 

He moans around your nipple as he felt your wetness coat his fingers immediately before reaching lower to dip two of his fingers inside of your hot entrance. "So wet. H-hah, I bet you can take me right know, can't you? I'm so haaard, _____-chan. Can you feel me grinding on your leg? I didn't want to take you while you were so helpless, so I waited until you came around." Continuing to finger you, you felt the pads of his middle and index finger graze a certain spot that made you squirm and moan wantonly. 

"Ah, is that a good spot? I'll touch it more. Cum for me," he commands as his hand picks up speed, pressing hard against that sweet spot again. The pleasure of his mouth sucking harshly on your nipple on top of him fingering you harshly was enough for you to see white as your back arched painfully and your hands gripped the pure white bed sheets. 

Oikawa observed entertainingly as your juices dripped onto the duvet and sprayed on his arm. His lips detached from your breast and then connected with your agape mouth and shoved his tongue into your cavern and feeling every millimeter of the surface of your mouth. He continued to finger you through your orgasm, causing you to shake a writhe in overstimulation as your hands reached down to his right hand that remained glued to your pelvis. 

"Mmh, T-Tooru!" you whined as tears brimmed your eyes. "T-Too-ru! A-ah it's too much!"

He removed his fingers from your cunt, leaving a dripping mess on the bed sheets. He moaned at the breathtaking sight. Your skin shined with a layer of sweat, bruises and hickeys littered throughout your body, and your cunt twitched and dripped from just his hand. He swore he could cum right then and there. 

"I guess my hands aren't just for setting and serving volleyballs, huh?" He chuckles. "But we're not done yet. I need to fuck you _thoroughly_."

His fingers hook around the waistband of his jeans and pulls them down impatiently, his hard cock springing from its confines and presenting itself to you proudly. It leaked of precum and shined with a layer of sweat. It looked painful--as if he were holding back for a while.

"We don't need a condom anymore, do we? Because you won't ever leave me.We'll always be together." He sighs contentedly. 

Suffocating, the air became hot and humid as he pushed himself inside of you with a satisfied, and delusional smile. 

"Look, it's so wet, it went in so easily." 

Oikawa takes one of your legs and places it on his shoulder before burying his tip to hit deep inside of you. You had not yet recovered from your previous orgasm so the overwhelming feeling in your core resurfaced and soon your moans became nothing more than breathless whimpers. With your back arched and your fingers taking purchase on the soft, now messy duvet, you fell to pleasure as you failed to hear your lover proclaim his love over and over again as he moves roughly and swiftly in and out of you.

"H-how about we name the first one Haruto?" he suggests as he places your other leg over his shoulder and pounds into you roughly. "If we're really lucky, we might even have twins!"

His hands laced yours as they were pressed into the bed right by your head. He whispers numerous words of affection, commenting how beautiful you are, how lucky he is to have you, and etcetera. As you were folded and pounded into, you felt another orgasm approach you at an alarming rate and Oikawa could feel it too around his cock. In response, he went as fast as his his hips would allow him, driving himself deep inside of you and chuckling madly to himself-

"Say, _____-chan," he spoke. "Did Ushiwaka fuck you this hard? Is his dick bigger than mine? I definitely showed him that you are mine and mine only."

"To love."

"To fuck."

"To keep forever."

His thrusts matched with each statement and all that coursed through your mind was the way only Oikawa could give you all the pleasure and love in the world. You couldn't even parse the name 'Ushijima Wakatoshi' as the setter pressed himself as deep as he could get into your womb and mushed your lips together one last time before a mind shattering orgasm ripped through you. Warmth spread inside your core as your lover kept himself inside of you, thrusting slowly, but not pulling out before his dick had gone flaccid. Oikawa pulled back and released you sweaty legs and let it drop on the king sized mattress. He groaned as he pulled his cock out and watched under lidded, lustful, tired eyes how his fluids dripped from your entrance. His left hand goes down to the puddle of both your juices and his and gathers it on his fingers before shoving it back inside of you, not letting it go to waste.

Oikawa slumped next to you and pulled your body close to his and whispers a 'good night' before pressing a kiss to your cheek. You had already passed out after your orgasm, and the sun had set. You both had forgotten to eat dinner, but Oikawa didn't care. Exhaustion took hold of him and soon, he fell into the grasps of sleep. 

 

Five months prior to the wedding, Oikawa kept a constant eye out for any symptoms of pregnancy. He watched out for your diet, made sure you went outside with him for a jog or even a stroll around the remote neighborhood, and kept you entertained with many films to watch, books to read, and games to play. Of course, when he wasn't at home he insisted that you not leave the house and promised to call you through the home phone at scheduled times of the day. At night, he was relentless in his attempts to get you pregnant, so you'd always wake up sore the next day. He'd make it up, though, with sweets he gets on the way home from practice. Though of course, not too often.

The day your soon-to-be husband found you vomiting in the tub at 5:00 A.M. was marked as a special occasion on his calendar, and he took you to the hospital as quick as possible to hear the news he'd been wanting to hear for a while. The obvious response from the doctor came, along with the statement that you and your husband were extremely fertile, so having kids would be no problem. Twins were also possible as well, and Oikawa was overjoyed to hear it.

Here you were, with your hands wrapped around a bouquet of carnations on your five month baby bump as you recited your vows. Your parents and Oikawa's wept with joy at the union, and Iwaizumi once met eyes with you with a concerned expression. There was no light that bounced from your eyes like before, they remained dead, and constantly searching for a certain brunette's. As soon as the event was over, he would most likely never hear from you until you'd given birth and Oikawa was bragging about how beautiful his children are. As for the honeymoon, you chose something simplistic and cheesy-- a sight-seeing trip and a week-long stay at an inn in Osaka. 

 

'Japan serving 20-16 against China. Oikawa serves.'

Haruto and Ayaka were two now, and the two stuck around each other since birth. You and your husband learned that one could not be without the other without causing a storm in the nursery, so their cribs were always next to each other. Oikawa noted that both children were perfect combinations of his beauty and yours, and you couldn't help but feel flattered. He even said that the third may be more beautiful and the twins would become jealous. Your third child was on the way and you remained slumped against the couch watching the recording of yesterday's match that you missed because you were busy taking care of the twins. You watched in awe as your husband, now a regular playing for the Olympic team, served with the same magnificent form. It was until the match ended and the recording ended that you were left with a period of silence. Oikawa was to return home sometime today or tomorrow from the match in China, so you were responsible for keeping up with the kids and chores. 

Finding the twins still asleep, you decide to roam the house for something to do, and you end up digging through old boxes of photo albums consisting of you and Oikawa, some yearbooks, some trophies, medallions, and plaques, (though they all belonged to him). You stacked each book on top of each other at your side until all you saw was the floor of the closet and a hatch of some sort. For two years, you've lived in this house, yet you never knew that it had a basement. It had no padlock and had been covered with boxes up until now. 

Dust gathers in the air as you open the hatch and find a ladder leading down. Grabbing a flashlight, you peered down into the entrance of the basement to find nothing, until a foul stench wafted into your nose. It was as if some animal that was trapped in there had died and the scent of decomposition lingered until you had unlatched the door to the basement. That was until you had to discover the source of the foul odor that you were forced to go down. It was an impulse.

On the way down, the old ladder creaked at the weight being added onto it, however you lost grip of the flashlight as it clacks on impact with the ground. It was until your feet touched the ground that you picked it up again and scanned the area for the source of the smell. While walking, your foot gets caught in something hard and you step back and shake it off quickly hearing the loud clatter of various items hitting each other right below your feet. The light of your flashlight hits the ground before you and the sight of whatever it was was enough to make you take several steps back until your back hit something hard behind you. 

" ______-chan,_ " the sound of your husband's sweet voice echoed in your ears as he lightly maneuvers his hands from the sides of your arms to your growing belly. His chin rested on the top of your head as you loosely gripped the rubber handle of the flashlight.

_"You didn't welcome me home. I got really worried there."_

Before you was a mass of bones still clothed in familiar attire. The flesh had already been eaten away by maggots, and nature has done its job taking away everything until it became just a pile of bones and dust. It was the same clothing Ushijima wore the day he disappeared on his trip to Tokyo; it was the same shirt, jacket, and jeans he wore when you last saw him on the surveillance footage at Tokyo Station. Your hands shook uncontrollably and tears threatened to spill from your eyes. 

_"T-Too-ru..."_

Oikawa removes himself from you and walks to the mass of bones and picks up the skull from the ground, uncaring of how dirty it was.

_"Ushiwaka-chan says 'hi'," he makes an attempt to stifle his laughter with his hand, but it fails terribly. "From hell!"_

Sobbing, you were sobbing. Six years of bottled pain fell from your mouth and bounced off the walls of the basement. Uncontrolled screams woke up the twins from down the hallway but you were deaf to their cries. Oikawa, with a smile graced on his handsome face took you into his arms as you wept and screamed six-years worth of concealed pain. The brunette held you tighter, whispering softly, reminding you that you had a baby on the way and you responded by biting your lip in a half-assed attempt at silencing your own voice, worrying about a miscarriage caused by stress. Fingers drummed your stomach as you stared at the bones that were still lit up by the flashlight you dropped on the dusty ground. Oikawa kept you steady as he hummed a tune into your ear as your tears faded to sharp intakes of breath.

Overcome with joy, Oikawa let out a low snicker, reminiscing the day he fell in love with you. It took quite a while to get where he needed to be with you, but it was worth the wait-- _and to think killing Ushijima was only a minor, effortless task._ Now he has you within his clutches. Pride welled up inside of him like he was granted all the money in the world.

He won, and he won _you_. That was the most priceless reward of all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [This was a vent piece]


End file.
